Our daughter just returned from seven months away, coming home from across the Pacific via a visit to my sister, who lives in northern California. In addition to a very nice pruner, our daughter brought back a newspaper article for me to read, both courtesy of my sister.
Some of you will have seen this, but here's a scan of the article my sister sent:
Was the burlar planning to grill the man after him giving the a spice rub? If so, why whack the other man with the sausage? Or was this some mystical ritual, known only to those immersed in the ancient healing arts?
Of course, how funny this is depends on the type of sausage used. An Italian sausage wouldn't hurt, but a hard salami could do some damage.
ETA: In a comment down below, telstar_gold gave a link to a follow-up story about the Sausage Attacker. The burglar was not behaving as oddly as the original article's report implied. He was using the spice as a sort of impromptu mace, throwing a powdered seasoning in the man's face when he wake up, not rubbing it on his body while he slept. The other man, who was sleeping out on the porch, did get struck "several times on the face and head with an eight-inch sausage". An impromptu billy club? Go here to read the follow-up report. Thanks, Telstar!